me starting to like someone
you have no proof that i am not at least one of the members of daft punk
when a guy walks past you and you catch a whiff of their cologne
do people think this is like really romantic or something he can’t hold her because he has fucking scissors for hands
no people think it’s really fucking sad ‘cause he loves her and cant hold her because he has SCISSORS FOR HANDS
transparent “the” from that one episode of spongebob
children that are rough and horrible at handling small animals should not be allowed near small animals i dont care what you say. do not put an animal through that
an artist is stranded on a desert island alone and decides to pass the time by drawing. less that a minute after they take out a sketchbook, one lone person washes up on the island and desperately says “oh my god you can draw can you draw me”
"this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours"
Funny thing - a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children.
Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) - she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did.
WHAT THE FUCk